It’s Listable Life day over at Moments that Define Life and I’m really pumped for this list. If you’ve known me for any time at all, you know I’m a relatively
wreckless fearless person. There are more than a few stories in my timeline that start out with “Somebody had to” and end with “so Sarah did”. I’m also a tough person to embarrass and that’s critical for this list because I think most of the time the lack of “guts” is really just a fear of embarrassment.
That said, there are a few things on my to-do list that I’m too wimpy to mark off…so far…
1. Confront the hateful woman who openly challenged my faith without even knowing me. Actually let’s just say what she said: “You’re a bad Christian”. Because I casually mentioned that I’m a sinner…you know…along with EVERYONE ELSE. This happened probably 8 months ago. Not over it.
2. Order pizza. Let me be honest: this is weird. I think this is some holdover from when I was about 10 years old and had to order takeout pizza for the family the first time. The person I talked to via phone didn’t have a good command of my primary language and the whole thing was a train wreck. Needless to say, I still get nervous ordering a pizza over the phone and won’t do it. I can lead a massive conference call of important people, but I can’t ask for extra cheese. Weird. (Note: it has just occured to The Gentleman that he’s always the one who calls the deliver guys)
3. Sing karaoke FOR REAL. Now don’t get me wrong – I love karaoke and will sing anytime anywhere. But I cheese it out, overdo it, spoil it on purpose. One of these days, I’m going to really, really sing, on key, in time and with soul. Just wait.
4. Ask for help. This is a perennial problem for independent ladies like myself. It would seem I’d rather let a situation go to absolute hell than ask for some help with it. I really have to work on this one. (The Gentleman just crossed his hands over his chest and looked at me like a good Southern mama and said “Mmm-hmm!” Not really. But he would if he were here). So there’s some serious dirt for you.
5. Stand on the bottom of the ocean. You know, up close to the shore where it’s shallow enough to do so. Yep, you’re reading this right. I cannot put my feet on the bottom of the ocean and stand still. I have the irrational fear that I’ve actually stopped on top of an enormous stingray whose tail is going to whip up and stab me in the Achilles tendon at any moment. Or that I’ll step on glass. Or a dead body. So I float in the ocean instead (or cling to my husband’s surf board). And floating and clinging are exhausting. Gotta get over this.
Look at this sneaky little jerk. He’s just waiting for someone to step on him.