Here’s some dirt: I used some of my extra
laziness time off over the holidays to catch up on some blogs and other social media posts I’d missed during very busy prior weeks and I learned something about myself in the process:
Apparently, I’m not really a girl.
I’ve been told by friends before that I’m a “dude in a chick’s body” and described as a tomboy, and as I read the things my fellow biological females write about and delight in, I started making a list of topics women seem to enjoy that I really, really don’t. I’m sharing the list below along with a very important question for you ladies: Do I have to turn in my Girl Card?
- Glitter. Glitter is literally my nightmare. That stuff gets stuck to EVERYTHING and I’ll find bits of it in my hair or on my clothes months after my last interaction with it. I’m probably OCD, but man I hate it.
- “Reality” TV. I’m one of those people who squirms when I see someone public embarrass herself, so these shows are a constant squirm-fest for me. Also, they in no way reflect any reality I’ve ever lived in. Okay, I think Duck Dynasty is funny, but that’s the only one.
- Shopping. I used to enjoy this one, so maybe there’s a hint of girl in me after all. Now, though? I shop online maybe twice a year and buy in bulk. Can’t stand browsing.
- Sweet Wine. Can’t handle sweet wine unless it’s a nice port. This, however, is obviously part of a bigger problem for me: I also hate chocolate.
- Botox. Okay, this just blows my mind. I saw at least a dozen mentions of hosting Botox parties among gals I know IN THEIR 20′S! Don’t do it, ladies! You’ve got a very confident decade on your horizon and you don’t need that stuff!
- Heels. I like TAR Heels, but the other kind remind me of hours and hours stalking legislative halls in my early 2000′s suit and pumps, the lasting legacy of which is a jacked up lower back and painful arches. I’ll take flats, thank you.
I’m not judging people who like these things,
So, ladies who like all of these things, what’s the verdict? Do I turn in my Girl Card?
Are there any quintessentially “girl” things you don’t like?
I’d like to dedicate this post to my awesome older brothers who beat the girl out of me by practicing professional wrestling moves on me as a kid.