Ainokea: On Stress in the Aloha State

17 May By

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I’m going to assume that you can guess.  That’s right.  According to a Gallup Poll, Hawaii is the least stressed state in the nation.  And while I know you’re thinking that it’s because folks who live here spend all day surfing in crystal clear waters at the base of Diamond Head, you’re wrong and I want to spend this post explaining why.

When you learn that Hawaii is the least stressed state in the nation, you have to understand some other statistics to have the full picture:  Hawaii is regularly listed among the most expensive places to live in the nation (Honolulu is third on this year’s list), it’s traffic is the second worst in the nation (although it might rank #1 if you do the calculation a little differently) and the number of people working more than one job to make ends meet is exceedingly high in this state.

The point?

We may have incredible beaches, incomparable mountain vistas and tropical beauty all around us, but most folks on these islands spend long hard hours at work or commuting.

And yet, the people of Hawaii really are incredible.  Laid back.  Content (or maybe sometimes resigned).  I say “the people of Hawaii” here because I don’t feel like I’ve been here long enough to include myself.  And offering that caveat, I’d like to share a list of reasons why I think Hawaii is the least stressed out state:

  • People are nice.  During my daily commute I travel 12 miles in 50 minutes.  You mathematicians know that means I average 14.4 mph.  On a highway.  And you know what?  If I need to change lanes, there’s always someone ready to let me in.  If a pedestrian needs to cross that highway, we all kindly stop.  Because people here are nice.  And, they’re not just nice in traffic.  I’ve been clomping around in my office in a post-op shoe trying to heal a stress fracture and every day, dozens of people I’ve never met stop me to ask what happened, offer sympathy and tell me they’ll pray it heals soon.  It’s hard to be stressed out when there’s so much Aloha floating around.
  • American culture as main-landers know it, is absent.  I love my country and I’m proud to be an American, but folks, there are some things American culture just gets wrong.  Like over-consumption.  Like keeping up with the Jones’.  Like making a perfectly decorated mansion with white picket fences a life goal.  Practically, these things don’t work here.  Over-consumption is cost-prohibitive and white picket fences?  Hey, you’re lucky if you even have a yard here.  But beyond practicality, I think Hawaii’s young statehood and cultural melting pot are its greatest attributes.  “Foreign” cultures are hugely influential here and since looking different from your neighbor is the norm, I get the sense that folks spend less time comparing themselves to one another and more time absorbing the beauty of all those differences…and realizing how much sameness there is.  Instead of pursuing the two-kids-SUV-white-picket-fence-golden-retriever cliche, folks here pursue the best part of the ‘ol American dream:  happiness.
  • Family.  Family, or ohana,  is big in Hawaii and you don’t have to share genes with someone to be in their ohana. When I still lived in NC and after my first close friend had a baby, I developed the habit of calling myself Auntie Sarah to the offspring of friends and acquaintances alike.  I am confident that a good 50% of those parents – who don’t mistrust me in anyway – felt like the designation of Auntie was awkward because we weren’t related.  In Hawaii, I’m Auntie Sarah to kids whose names I don’t know, because community is family.  I know strong family bonds are partly a product of geography:  people tend to live near their families because islands just aren’t that big.  And so, here at last, I’ll give a physical aspect of the Hawaiian islands a little credit:  thanks for being islands, which keep families close.
  • Work Hard, Chill Hard.  Before I explain this one, let me first say that folks on Oahu are very active in all kinds of outdoor hobbies, so I don’t want to imply that folks just sit around on their butts all day.  BUT. But, Hawaii understands the value of not scheduling every moment.  Go to a beach park on any given Saturday or Sunday and you’ll find huge ohana gatherings (use that definition of family I gave above) grilling out and just stone-cold relaxing.  Drive through a neighborhood pau hana (after work)  and take note of how many folks are sitting in folding chairs on their lanais or in the driveway just shootin’ the breeze.  People know how to relax here.  For real.  And they don’t feel guilty about it.

These reasons, in my opinion, are why Hawaii is the least stressed state in the nation.  Not the blue water.  Not the palm trees.  Not the Mai Tais.  It’s all in the way people handle stressors.

A favorite bumper sticker I see during my very slow commute reads “Ainokea”.  If you pronounce that with Hawaiian phonics and use a little imagination, you realize it means ” I no care” (Eye No Cay-uh).  Now, I do know the origins of these bumper stickers, but for me, they conjure up the old slogan of Alfred E. Newman of MAD Magazine:  “What, me worry?”.  And so when I see that particular sticker, I’m reminded not to stress out.  Why worry?  Lucky we live in Hawaii.

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Big Island

5 Mar By

Last week we took a very quick trip over to the Big Island to see the volcano doing it’s volcano thing.  Since we’re a military family we have the benefit of staying at the Kilauea Military Camp, a collection of cabins with kitchens and fireplaces right inside Volcano National Park.  The Gentleman and I loved these little cabins (felt like camp, but less rustic) and have plans to go back as soon as we can.

We flew in at the crack of dawn and fortuitously sat on the correct side of the plane to see the sun rising over Mauna Kea.  It snowed on this high peak last weekend, so the view was especially striking, and the photo, I think, is not bad for having been taken through an airplane window!

Our first mission on arrival was to check out the black sand beaches along the Windward shore.  This is one the slightly less popular ones called Kehena.  It is also a “clothing optional” beach.  Y’all, I’ve had one too many experiences stumbling upon a grown man doing naked yoga on the beach (yes, it’s happened before).  Cropped that dude out for these  pictures!

 

Next up, we made our way in to the Volcano National Park to see the caldera of Kilauea.  This overlook is best viewed at night as the lava creates an eerie red glow in the crater, but our crew was too tired to make it back up in the evening.  Still pretty amazing to see it simmering away in the daylight hours.  This caldera is about 4 square miles and 400 feet deep.

While in the park we also checked out inactive lava fields, a lava tube, petroglyphs and the amazing views of the Pacific.  Y’all know I’m a sucker for this beautiful ocean out here!  I also got a much-wanted taste of “winter” weather.  Temperatures in the park dipped to the low 50′s at night and I got to wear a coat – I was pumped!

The highlight of our trip, however, was touring the flowing lava via boat.  Our captain navigated us through rough seas for about 20 minutes (NOT for the faint of heart) to several points where lava flows steaming in to the Pacific Ocean, creating an enormous shelf of barely cooled and unstable rock.  Big shout out to our captain who deftly maneuvered us within 30-40 feet of the “shoreline” to see the flow up close and personal.  In fact, he told us that we’d get quite wet from the ocean on the way out, but that he’d get us close enough to the lava to have our clothes dry in a matter of minutes.  All true.

The lava tour was a feast for the senses:  the acrid smells of sulfur and smoke, neon bright molten lava, and the sound of explosions as chunks of pumice rock exploded in the cool water.

This wasn’t my first experience seeing the lava flows of Kilauea as we toured Volcano National Park when I was a kid.  However, seeing the rare flow of lava into the ocean was a far more dramatic experience and one I highly recommend (tip to travelers: the lava isn’t always pouring in to the ocean – call tour companies ahead to check!)

Capped off with an unbelievable sunset over the lava flow, our two-day Big Island adventure was amazing.  The Gentleman and I will be back for a more extended tour in the future!

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Catching Up

4 Mar By

It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve written in this space, but I’m back!  Quit groaning.  I can hear you.

Anyway, I’ve got lots of good excuses.  I’ll unveil excuse #1 in about two weeks when it’s appropriate (no, I’m not pregnant) and excuse #2 is that I’ve been busy entertaining my awesome sisters-in-law who came to visit our lovely island for a week.  Excuse #3 is that life has been a bit chaotic in both the good and bad ways.  So much has been going on I’ve not really taken a break to address it.  I’ll try to catch you up at least a bit today.

First, I’m delighted to have The Gentleman back home after a TDY (temporary duty for you non-military types) that took up most of February.  I’d like to point out that the Army has made sure my husband was thousands of miles away from me or stuck in the office for 1) our birthdays; 2) our first anniversary; 3) my first marathon; 4) Hallmark (Valentine’s) Day.  I’m very glad he’s not been full-on deployed, but the timing of temporary out-of-country work seems awfully coincidental.  I don’t believe in coincidences, Big Brother.  Anyway, he had a great work trip to Thailand that ended with him featured in a news story and snuggling fuzzy tigers.  I’ve dreamed of hanging out with these “tame” (we all know they’re not really) tigers for over a decade and it was awesome to see pictures of the hubs cuddled up with the big cats. We’ll be heading that way for vacay ASAP.

Second, I mentioned that my sisters-in-law came to visit.  It’s so great to have family in town  and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy showing off our beautiful new home town.  In addition to showing off our favorite off-the-beaten-path parts of Oahu, we took the sistas-by-another-mista to the Big Island for two days. I’ll dedicate a whole post to that adventure, but suffice it to say, timing was perfect to watch Mother Nature really show off with her lava skills.  I also got the opportunity to really get to know my sisters-in-law better and am so glad for that.

Having family in town, and doing some inter-island travel with them, solidified a feeling I’ve been having for the past few months:  that Kailua is really home.  If I’d said the word “home” back in August or September, I would have been referencing North Carolina.  Now, however, that word means here.  What a wonderfully turbulent adventure it’s been to go from aching for my roots back on the East Coast to really REALLY loving and craving where I live now… and not because it’s paradise, but because it’s our home.  We’ve reached the point of knowing local store clerks, having favorite running routes and surf breaks, haunting the same restaurants, and randomly running in to friends in town.  We leave our home for a few days and miss its comforts and expected irritations. I know the FedEx gal and that one of the property caretakers can catch a rooster with his bare hands. Kailua is home.  I love that.

In a final moment of change over these past two weeks, I was finally able to run again after six weeks of rest to heal my stress fracture.  I can’t understate this:  WOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  Okay, honestly the first run was quite awkward and I was clearly favoring (out of fear, not pain) my uninjured foot.  I’ve got a long way to go to be back in the running condition I was pre-injury, but y’all…. Oh it felt so, so good to see the pavement whizzing by under my feet and to hear my measured breaths.  I ran two miles in 18:20 and it was AWESOME.  Shout out to the forced cross-training, too. I could tell a difference in my stride that I attribute to the ever-hated recumbent bike.  My quads were bearing so much more of the running motion than usual and my ankles felt almost slack.  I still hate that stupid bike, but it really made the run effortless.  I’ll keep upping my mileage VERY SLOWLY for the next few weeks and hope this is goodbye to stress fractures!

So, there you have it, at least in part.  I’ll be back soon with Big Island photos, an update on my running and the REST of the news.

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An Awful (Great) Surprise

11 Feb By

Mercy Mondays with Jenn LeBow
I was sitting at my desk, with one cat slung across my lap and the other attacking pages as they were spit out of the printer.  I was newly married, cold-calling advocates about some dangerous legislation and giving myself a pep-talk about moving to NoWhereVille, SC where we’d learned The Gentleman would next be stationed with the Army.

I was desperate for a break from awkward phone conversations, so I set the phone aside and started typing up a report.  Naturally, it immediately rang.  It was The Gentleman.

“What do you think about Hawaii?” he asked.

“I went there when I was a kid and it was fun, why?” I responded, distracted by my work.

“No,” he continued, “What do you think about living in Hawaii?”

With that, he had my full attention.  I don’t really recall the rest of the conversation, but I know that my heart rate increased and I had a feeling of dread.  I remember The Gentleman’s superior officer in the background shouting something like “C’mon, it’s Hawaii!!” as I stammered through the conversation trying to be non-committal and non-negative all at once.

Learning that I’d leave my beloved home state of North Carolina, not for its next-door neighbor South Carolina, but for the furthest American soil possible was an unbelievable and unwelcomed surprise.  I’ve already addressed my misgivings about that slap-in-the-face surprise, but I’ve not adequately expressed the great mercy such a startling change has been for The Gentleman and I.

Before we moved, The Gentleman and I clung to some typical American ideals:  we worked our butts off for financial success, we spent weekends improving the look and feel of our home, we juggled social obligations and gym time and long commutes and generally ran ourselves ragged.  We were throttling down that pursuit-of-happiness path with an awful blindness and an enormous cartful of baggage.

My relationship with God has often involved well-timed smacks in the face.  My memory tells me I’ve always learned from doing more than from being told and it’s clear that God knows he needs to shake me up from time to time if I’m to keep growing.  He shook me big time when he put in motion a move that would break down every comfortable and known thing in my life and replace them with drastically different things.

In his great mercy, God thrust us into a place where we must truly live in community with his other children: y’all, you can’t get away from people in Hawaii.  We’re packed in here like sardines!

He ripped endless work hours (and, at least for me, the related reimbursement) out from under us and reminded us that letting our professional lives eat us up in the name of more stuff was a road to death.

He snatched us away from beloved family and friends, not to remove them from our hearts and lives, but to force us to rely more on him.

He moved us to a place where traffic is unbelievable, so walking is easier than driving (really, y’all) and the mountains and ocean are within an arm’s reach and temperatures inside buildings get uncomfortable during the day.  As a result we are outside and moving more and are healthier than we’ve been in ten years.

Here we are, with fewer things, less peace and quiet, a smaller house, more traffic, fewer nearby friends…and happier, healthier, more peaceful and stronger.

That phone call a year ago was not the kind of surprise I like.  It made me intensely uncomfortable and saddled me with anxiety for months.  If only my faith had been in the right place –with God instead of with me – maybe I could’ve seen that God was stirring things up as an act of incredible mercy.

Linking up with Jenn for Mercy Mondays.

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Recent Jaunt: Waves, Seals and Whales

24 Jan By

Ah, winter in Hawaii.  I’ve been asking locals about this season since we moved here, wondering if it *really* gets cold or how much it actually rains.  Following the Honolulu Marathon, our lovely island began the transition into winter weather and I’m enjoying experiencing this season for myself.

As I write, it’s 73 degrees,  there’s a misty rain coming down and the winds are blowing hard enough to knock over my plants on the lanai.  Yesterday was warm and sunny with only the slightest breeze until a downpour (during my run, thank-you-very-much) left Kailua chilly and damp. By the time we went to bed, a cool 65 degree breeze was blowing in our window. I dig winter in Hawaii.

Rain Clouds over Kaena Point, with just a bit of sun peeking through.  Winter in Hawaii.

The Gentleman and I recently took advantage of the weather to visit Kaena Point, on the northwest shore of Oahu and were treated to another wintertime spectacle: high surf.  I’ve been struggling to communicate these waves to people who’ve never seen them.  Photos don’t cut it and my words sound unimpressive.  Still, I’ll try, because these waves are an awesome, booming, frothing show of force and deserve to be shared.

A trail run along Kaena Point is bound to be interrupted for photos.  Notice the mist kicked up into the air by the powerful waves.

The wave in the picture below has a 20-25 foot face and is 15 feet “thick” from front to back.  That means that if you were standing in the water in front of the wave, you would be 1) insane and 2)looking at a crest almost the same height as your two-story home and as wide as an 18-wheeler.   These waves crash with tremendous force, throwing plumes of water 40 feet into the air and pounding the shore into a churning pool of foam.

The water’s motion is so violent, it can punch holes through solid rock, leaving formations like this natural bridge and “blowhole”.  Water pushes through the blowhole with such force, it can be heard at a great distance.

Standing on the shore, we noticed that these waves, more than the ones we’ve already seen along more popular North Shore beaches, were so powerful they made the ground rumble under our feet and sounded like distant explosions.  I’ve included this video in an effort to share this strength.  Please note: the video is NOT in slow motion.  The waves are so big they appear slow compared to “normal” waves because the water has to travel that much further to crash!

As if the incredible waves weren’t enough, we were delighted to see a pair of crazy-endangered Hawaiian Monk Seals resting on the beach and tons (ha!) of humpback whales frolicking just beyond the breakers. UPDATE:  This seal is named Kaena (appropriately) and was on the beach with another guy : either Noa or Kerby.  They’re regulars on Kaena’s beaches.

If you visit Oahu, especially in winter, take the time to trek up to Kaena Point.  The trail is easy (great for a trail run!) and the show God puts on with his oceans and animals is second to none.

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Aloha Giveaway!

2 Nov By

Before I get to the giveaway, I’d like to remind everyone that there’s still time to sponsor my miles at the Honolulu Marathon to help support my sister-in-law Rachel as she battles cancer:


RUN TO NUKE CANCER


THANK YOU to everyone who’s already donated – you rock!




When The Gentleman and I moved to Hawaii almost five months ago, our lives changed dramatically.  Life has slowed down.  We move our bodies more and spent more time in the fresh air.  Feelings of anger or stress or sadness visit less frequently.  We eat more fresh, whole foods and actually manage to sit down together to eat. Our priorities are different.


People who’ve known us for a long time can see the change.  I mean, I hardly ever curse anymore and The Gentleman actually wants to eat things like sushi and salads. 


Life is good here and we know it’s because the Hawaiian way of life is based on some incredible ideals, and it is, of course, best described by a Hawaiian word.

Aloha.

It doesn’t just mean just hello and goodbye, folks.  It’s a way of life.  One source defines Aloha as “joyfully sharing life”, another as “affection, peace, compassion, mercy”, and a third as “kindness, unity, pleasantness, humility, patience”.  That’s a whole lot of good in one word.  Living with Aloha is the rule (no really.  it’s a rule.) here in Hawaii and we see it daily as strangers on the street greet us with smiles and helping hands are everywhere you look.  “Drive with Aloha” is even a popular bumper sticker and the first time someone stops in their rush hour haste to let you make a difficult left turn, you know folks here mean it.  Aloha is not just about how you treat others.  The concept is that you must first love and accept yourself, just as you were made, and then you can extend that grace to the people around you.

I’d like to share a little Aloha with one of you readers, so I’ve scoured my local  markets and put together a great gift basket full of Hawaiian amazingness:  Passion Fruit Pancake Mix with Coconut Syrup, Guava Jelly, Kona Coffee Cookies, 100% Kona Coffee, Chocolate Covered Macadamia Nuts, Maui Sweet Onion Macadamia Nuts, Kukui Oil Bath and Body products and therapeutic bath salts  and a soy tropical candle from Lanikai Bath and Body.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Now,

I’m coupling this giveaway with promotion of my Run to Nuke Cancer fundraiser for my sister-in-law Rachel, but I’ve been informed that if I base the giveaway on contributions, I’m actually running an illegal lottery. So, to reiterate:

1) NO PURCHASE (or DONATION) NECESSARY.

2)  Still, it would be awfully cool if you could help with a donation to send some Aloha to my sister-in-law http://www.giveforward.com/runtonukecancer

2) I’ll pick a winner at random on November 16, 2012 and post the info here.

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Heat Waves, Tsunamis and Blisters

31 Oct By

Following my half-marathon, I’ve been training for the Honolulu Marathon which takes place on December 9.  I’ll be racing, in part, to raise funds to support my sister-in-law and her family while she bravely battles brain cancer.  Click here to donate!

For the most part, my training has gone swimmingly.  I’ve logged the miles and still believe I can probably manage a good pace.  Mother Nature, however, seems opposed to my participation in a marathon as she keeps throwing inhospitable weather phenomena my way.

Recapping the last few weeks of training, I’ve:

1)Raced in the iRun 25K here in Kailua.  This. Was. Tough.  I’d call this experience the perfect storm for a bad run:  it was hot and muggy, Oahu was suffering from a “Vog” haze, and the course featured a killer hill and not enough hydration.

Here in Hawaii we rely on trade winds to keep the air cool and on the day of the race, these precious breezes were conspicuously absent.  We runners were sweating already at the 5:00 a.m. start and it just got hotter as the sun came up.  By about mile 8 or 9 the temperature was over 80 degrees with significant humidity.  Aid stations were about two miles apart and I didn’t carry my own water, so I think I got pretty dehydrated.

Hawaii also experiences the unpleasant phenomenon of “vog”.  This is a haze/fog comprised of the gases and ash emitted by active volcanoes on the Big Island.  Wind shifts bring clouds of this lung-clogging vog over Oahu from time to time and since trade winds subsided on race day after a vog had blown in, we were stuck with it.  My asthma was not amused.

Stifling heat and poor air quality are usually enough to ruin a run for me, but this 25k had one final treat for me:  the hill from hell.  Right around mile 10, we started an ascent over a ridge that lasted nearly a half mile.  We then ran down the steep backside of the ridge, turned around at the bottom and ran back over the hump before ascending back to sea level.  Regular runners know that steep downhills are no easier on your body than a major uphill, and we were all suffering accordingly as we slogged another 1.5 miles to the next aid station. 

I finished the 15.6 miles with an overall time of 2:39 or a 10:20 pace.  I’m not thrilled with that pace, but given how I felt like I had the flu for the rest of the day because of dehydration and electrolyte depletion, I’ll take finishing alive as success.  I’ll now be carrying my own water and I already carry gels.  I always employ the “drink one, pour one (over my head)” strategy at aid stations.  Any other thoughts on keeping cool during long runs?

2) Logged an additional 52 miles in the last 2.5 weeks.  Thankfully, the 25K didn’t actually kill me.  I was able to complete another 14 miles five days later (though the winds failed me again) and had some great tempo runs in between.  My speed has really improved since we moved here!  I have been struggling with a blister issue on my left pinky toe.  Evidently, I pretty much step on my own pinky toe when I run and after about 12 miles that means a pretty nasty blister for me.  I’ve tried mole skin, tape and other remedies to no avail.  Any ideas?

3) Been thwarted in my attempt for 19 miles.  I think I’ll enjoy telling this story for a long time.  This past Sunday, I was registered to run a 30K race in downtown Honolulu over the last part of the marathon course.  This includes the major hills that cross over Diamond Head just south of Waikiki Beach, so I was looking forward to testing my legs.  The Gentleman and I were sitting on the lanai at a local restaurant adding a few last-minute carbs to my menu when tsunami warning sirens went off.  Over the next few hours, the coastal parts of our island were evacuated and we hunkered down in our fourth-floor condo with tubs full of water and evacuation bag packed waiting for the waves. 

Now, I’ve been through countless hurricanes and tornadoes in my day, but there’s something really eerie about gathering around a tv, watching live video of the coast and hoping you don’t see a major recession of water from the beaches.  When all was said and done, the tsunami maxed out at just under 2 feet and no damage was done.  Unfortunately, the race organizers were unable to set up for the event (it started in a park located in the evacuation zone) and the race was cancelled.  I’ll be [trying to] run 19 miles this coming weekend on my own. 

Here’s hoping Mother Nature takes a break from tormenting the U.S. this weekend!

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A Container Garden in Paradise

17 Aug By

Folks, I’ve got top soil under my fingernails, scrapes on my arms from pumice gravel and a bizarre sunburn.  But I’ve also got a container garden.  Our new condo in Kailua has an amazing 400 square foot rooftop lanai (that’s how you say patio in Hawaii).  It gets great sun exposure, cool breezes and because of it’s four foot high walls, shade in some places.

It was the last part of our new home we set up and once we got our outdoor furniture arranged, I decided to start a container garden.  I’ve planted a blend of fruits, vegetables, flowers and greenery and can’t wait to see how it progresses.

Do you container garden in Hawaii?  This growing zone rookie would love some tips!

Our lanai looks out over the building’s duck pond and tropical garden to the Ko’olau Mountains in the distance.  Thanks to the previous residents for leaving the fireplace and Carolina Blue adirondack chairs!

This potted hibiscus was kind enough to bloom for me two days after I planted him.

And there are more blooms on the way!

Veggies!  From left to right: Tabasco Peppers, Hawaiian Chile Peppers, Okra, Kalaheo Tomatoes, Cherry Tomatoes.  I also planted several varieties of basil, greek oregano, cilantro and scallions.

I’m calling this little cluster “Spike Corner”.  Thai Basil, Celosia, Salvia.  Used to grow the Celosia in NC and love it!

Speaking of giving plants names…. We’ve decided to name this Dwarf Tangerine tree Tyrion after a favorite Game of Thrones character (love those books!).  I’m excited to see if I have the skills to coax some fruit out of this guy.

I didn’t neglect to add some flora indoors.  It amazes me how much philodendron like this is used for ground cover here – I’m used to it as a houseplant only. 

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What it’s REALLY like to PCS to Hawaii

6 Aug By

This weekend, I issued an open letter to a certain group of other military spouse bloggers who’ve written decidedly negative posts about what it’s like to live in Hawaii and then I promised to provide readers with a little truth.  So here’s the scoop:

  • Many things cost more here.  As of writing this, gasoline hovers between $4.00 and $4.30 / gallon, a 1/2 gallon of milk is almost $4.00 and housing ain’t cheap.  BUT.  You are moving here as a member of the military and you’re going to get a cost-of-living allowance (COLA) and a housing allowance (BAH) that will help immensely with prices.  You also have access to most of the more expensive stuff at a variety of Commissaries all over the island.  Y’all, boneless skinless chicken breasts are cheaper at the Marine Commissary than they were in Fayetteville, NC and gas prices on base are almost always below $4.00/gallon.  You’re not going to go broke.  I’ve also found that certain things are quite a bit cheaper here – Asian foods, for example.  So embrace the udon!
  • The bugs are just not that bad.  You’ll probably read horror stories about cockroaches and centipedes and spiders and while I’ve seen all three, they are not formed up into militant groups intent on overthrowing you.  Are you moving here from the Southeastern US?  If you are, don’t even give the bugs a thought.  You’ve been there already.  I’ve not had a single mosquito bite since we arrived here and I’ve learned some simple ways to keep the bugs at bay:  Don’t shoo away geckos (they eat the bugs), use exterminators or a barrier spray, clean up piles of brush near your house.  Easy peasy.
  • The “locals” are easy-going, happy, nice folks.  This is a laid-back kind of place where people don’t necessarily watch the clock too closely and really know how to stop and smell the roses…er plumeria.  Sure, I’ve encountered some unpleasant attitudes, but honestly it’s been to a lesser degree than where we moved from.  It’s hard to be grumpy on this island. In face, The Gentleman and I were allowed to bypass an important process in our move-in by a “local” who noted that we’re from the South and therefore similar in personality to folks who live here.  How could that be bad? That said, if you’re planning to behave like an entitled diva or demand special treatment you’re not going to get along well with folks.  As I mentioned in a post about being a gracious tourist, the best way to fit in is to respect and embrace and cultural differences and drop the attitude.
  • The traffic is bad.  But it’s not a deal-breaker and it is possible to mitigate this problem.  When we arrived on the island we made sure to ask lots of questions of the folks who’ve lived here for a while and were able to choose a place to live that kept The Gentleman’s commute down around the 20 minute mark.  Basically, just accept that sometimes you’ll sit in traffic, but hey… you’re in traffic IN HAWAII.
  • The weather is perfect.  I’ve seen people claim that it’s hot here in the summer.  It’s August here right now and the thermometer has been peaking at 88 degrees which is Hawaii’s version of hot.  However, there are constant breezes and the temperature drops to the low 70′s at night.  We haven’t turned on our air conditioning and I’m the most hot-natured person you’ll ever meet.  Back home where we moved from?  It’s 93 with a heat index over 100 degrees.  THAT is hot.  Actually, I think if you’re inclined to complain about the weather in Hawaii, that’s probably grounds for a psych eval, because it is amazing here!  PS – it’s a myth that most places you’re likely to live don’t have air conditioning.  Most housing (on or off base) that’s easily available to military does have A/C.
  • Moving with a pet wasn’t that hard.  As long as you’re able to adhere to the “Five-Days-Or-Less Program” your fuzzy friend will be fine.  I very carefully collected all the required paperwork and checked off all the steps on that list and when we landed in Honolulu, we grabbed our luggage, walked over to the Department of Agriculture office, signed a piece of paper and collected our cat.  No drama.  Also, the folks who oversee this process in HI are very nice and quick to respond to questions, so don’t hesitate to ask!

Now see?  It’s just not so bad.  In fact, it was really a fun adventure and The Gentleman and I are now settled in nicely.  Let me leave you with a few more tips for the move and for those of you on the way… Aloha!

Some Last Tips:

  • When you set up temp housing ask for a list of TLA approved hotels – there are some great hotels right on the beach that are TLA-approved and they’re NOT all military hotels.  Call for reservations early and often.  No really.  Call back multiple times if you can’t get the dates you want – lots of cancellations happen as military families find permanent housing.  This is especially true for the few hotels that allow pets.
  • Send your unaccompanied baggage super early.  Ours beat us here and it was nice to have access to things like:  bicycles, a surf board, some beach chairs…
  • Ask anyone who will listen for recommendations on where to live.  This helped us find our oasis!
  • Get Hawaii license plates and drivers licenses.  Just do it.
  • Watch the local news and listen to the traffic on the radio during rush hour. While these are good things to do for obvious reasons, they’re also a great way to learn how to pronounce the names of roads and towns!

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An Open Letter to HI Military Spouse Bloggers Who Just Got It Wrong

4 Aug By

A comment on yesterday’s post from a lovely lady who calls Hawaii home reminded me of something that’s really bothered me since we arrived in the state:  the overwhelming number of military spouses stationed here who “blogplain” about “having” to live in paradise for a few years.  Bear with me as I respond/vent.

Dear Military Spouse Blogger Hawaii Detractors,

When I first learned that the Army would be moving my husband and I to Hawaii I was, as I previously described, “dubious but with a slightly better connotation than that word usually has“.  I wasn’t thrilled about moving so far away from family and friends, abandoning Fall and Winter, losing a big chunk of my job or paying a gazillion dollars for a gallon of milk.  But I also knew that great adventure awaited us and that I could assuage some of my concerns with a little research into what it’s actually like to live on Oahu, so I started Googling.

As I expected several blogs, vlogs and other resources authored by military spouses who live or lived in Hawaii topped the search results and I began reading.  And I began worrying more.  Here are the things I read on blog after blog:

  • There are enormous gun-toting cockroaches who also carry the Ebola virus in every single house just waiting to crawl into your mouth while you sleep.
  • You’ll pay $10 a gallon for gasoline from pumps that will regularly run dry, milk costs $400 + stock options per gallon and don’t even think about eating out at the Ruby Tuesday which charges $25 for it’s disgusting spinach dip.
  • All of your children have been attacked by rabid geckos and all of your dogs have died after biting into a poisonous frog.
  • It’s hotter in Hawaii than it is at the actual equator.
  • The locals (ie the folks who live here full-time) hate all outsiders and will be intentionally rude to everyone who moves in from the mainland.

In short, your “pep talks” for other spouses moving to Hawaii hung in space between formally lodged complaints and special-effects heavy horror movies.  Worse, they were lies.  Tomorrow, I’m going to blog about what it’s really like and I hope other spouses moving in will find my little post on Google and be comforted and excited about the upcoming transition.

For now, shame on you.  Do me a favor.  Open the front door of that military subsidized house or condo you’re staying in and look around you.  See those palm trees?  Those clear blue skies?  Feel that cool ocean breeze?  Can you smell that wild, lush jungle-like smell?  Maybe you can see your neighbors.  I bet your neighbors are sitting in their yard or on the lanai and they’re probably grilling something.  You can get in your car too.  Drive through that admittedly rough traffic for about 1/2 an hour to 45 minutes in any direction.  You ran into a beach didn’t you?  A beautiful white sanded, turquoise watered beach.  Or maybe you ran into the base of some incredible mountains.

You live in paradise.  You know multiple people who talk about Hawaii using phrases like “If I could visit anywhere in the world” or “trip of a lifetime” or “most amazing place I’ve been”.  And you get to live here.

Do me one more favor.  If you’re going to leave that complaining post up on your blog or continue to whine about gas prices, I need you to edit some more content on your blog.  If you are the type of person who rages when prices are high in a remote location or refuses to observe and embrace a culture different from your own or who can’t stomach a different kind of bug from what you’re used to, then you’re the kind of person who really just can’t travel.  So navigate on over to that bucket list you’ve published, or to that post where you talked about your dream trip, or maybe to that Pinterest photo of some foreign land and delete all of it.

Because when you finally get to visit France or Italy or whichever European country is your dream you’ll find that the local culture is quite at odds with the American one.  You’ll also spend a ton of money on gasoline and food and you probably won’t have access to a Commissary.

And when you arrive on that beach in St. Lucia or Mexico or Australia, you’ll see the same enormous cockroaches and probably be bitten by mosquitoes the size of small pigeons. And it will be oppressively hot on those beaches.

In spite of your best efforts to horrify me with how “bad” it is to live in Hawaii, you’ve failed and I am delighted beyond measure to live in such a beautiful state.  I hope you’ll take my suggestions seriously and really look at how lucky you are to be here.

Sincerely,

Sarah “Aloha Y’all” Pardieck

 

 

 

 

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First Week in Hawaii

29 Jun By

As of today, we’ve been on Oahu for 5 days and we’ve gotten progressively more excited to be here.  This week has been a mish-mash of in-processing appointments for The Gentleman, tours of potential new homes and drives along the beach in the new convertible.

Those of you who know me well know that I’m both a neurotic planner and a hardcore realist:  I’ve been toting around several hundred pages of receipts, maps, policies, articles and how-to’s in a binder for months as we prepped for this move and at the same time I’ve been totally aware that my plans are bound to come crashing down at any minute.  Thus far, however, a lot of the planning has paid off.  For example:

  • We traded The Gentleman’s enormous pick-up for a convertible  about a month ago andimmediately shipped it to Honolulu.  Amazingly, it beat us here and we were able to pick it up the second day we were here.  It’s so nice to have wheels AND to be able to feel the wind in our hair…er, well, on my face?

 

  • We also shipped “unaccompanied baggage” really early.  This is a small shipment of necessities the military lets you send in advance of all your furniture so you have something besides your luggage when you arrive.  I did a lot of research and it seemed that most folks didn’t get their UA early.  So, we shipped extra early and lo and behold…it beat us here too!  Now we have our bikes and The Gentleman’s surfboard in our possession.  Okay, that’s not him surfing down there, but you can imagine…

  • When I learned we’d be moving to HI, I immediately began exploring housing options, mostly because I think it’s fun to look at houses and dream.  I spent so much time studying rentals and maps that I have a good mental image of the island in my head  AND a strong idea of where we’d want to live.  I think we’re pretty much sold on moving out to Kailua on the Windward side of the island.  Here’s the beach:

Tomorrow we’re going to look at a condo just four blocks from that incredible beach there, so keep your fingers crossed for us!  And yes, more pictures to come!

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We Made It!

26 Jun By

After a long day of bad in-flight movies, worse in-flight food, and worrying about how Miss Violet the cat was getting along in the cargo hold, The Gentleman and I touched down in Honolulu, HI just after 2:00 p.m. HST yesterday.

We were greeted with leis by our wonderful “sponsors” who happen to be old friends of the Gentleman’s.

By the time we’d cleared baggage claim we had eight (!) bags in our possession and one very disgruntled kitty cat.  Props to Violet who managed to hold her bladder for almost 16 hours!

We’re settled in to our temporary housing now and will spend the next few days hunting for permanent housing.

And yes.  I’ll take some better pictures than the sad little snapshots I’ve uploaded via Instagram so far.

So, stay tuned!

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My Sweet Carolina

25 Jun By

Born in Guilford County, raised in Wake County, educated in Orange County, vacationed in Brunswick County and New Hanover County and Carteret County and Watauga County, tasted wine in Buncombe County, visited family in Avery County, watched NASCAR in Mecklenburg and Richmond Counties, got married in Cumberland County.  And the truth is, I could keep pinning and pinning and pinning.

So many adventures, so many friends, so many memories, so much joy in this beautiful home state of mine.  North Carolina, I will miss you and all the incredible people who make you my home.

I will miss your Blue Ridges.

I will miss your Autumns when your trees are painted in technicolor.

I will miss your quiet glassy lakes.

I will miss your country churches, your old barns, your plantation homes.

I will miss your cotton fields in the Fall and your wheat fields in the Spring.

I will miss your Crystal Coast.

I will miss your middle of nowhere.

And of course, I’ll miss my beloved Raleigh.  You’ll always be my home.

These pictures will post on my blog as we board a plane bound for Honolulu.  Farewell, North Carolina!  We’ll be back to see you soon!

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Adventures

18 Jun By

In one week, The Gentleman and I will no longer live in NC, and I’ve spent quite a bit of time grousing about it on this here blog.  Truth is I will really, really miss my home state and all the people in it.  You North Carolinians out there know what I mean – we call an incredible place home and I *think* we might be more proud of where we live than most Americans.

With our move in mind, we did manage to squeeze a few fun adventures in to the last few months and I’ve got a couple more planned for this last week.  Here’s what we’ve been up to.

Over Memorial Day weekend, I met up with some beautiful friends at an incredible hotel just outside of Raleigh for some spa time and good eats.  We spent our first night in Chapel Hill, home of my alma mater The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.  I spent about 7 years here doing my undergrad and grad work and this amazing town holds many great memories for me.

(The gals, pool at The Umstead, NC Barbecue and collards, Franklin Street!, Elaine’s)

 

The Sunday of Memorial Weekend was the Coca-Cola 600 NASCAR race in Charlotte, NC.  Now listen, I know many of you are going to scoff at NASCAR, but before you click away let me just say this:  unless you’ve ever actually been to a race, you just don’t know what you’re talking about.  NASCAR races are the ultimate tailgates.  We had so much fun and the folks at Charlotte Motor Speedway put on a truly touching and inspiring Memorial Day show to start things off.

1) While I  don’t drink Coors Light, I did hold the Gentleman’s beer for this picture…and it looks right.  2) Hubs with his favorite driver, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. (NC represent!).  3) Oh Hi, Tim McGraw!  4) Pregame festivities.  5) Golden Knight jumping in to the racetrack.  AIRBORNE!  6) B-52 flyover.  Y’all that plane is ENORMOUS.  7) 21 gun salute using Howitzers.  This. Was. Loud.  8 ) Junior in for a pit stop!  9) Race winner, Kasey Kahne, doing his burnout.

We rounded out our adventures with trips to see our parents – mine in the gorgeous NC mountains and the Gentleman’s at the gorgeous Charleston, SC coast.  How lucky are we?

1) View of the Blue Ridges from Mom and Dad’s porch.  2) This cow is not sure about me. 3) Wilson Creek, NC. 4) Mountain Laurel blooming along the Blue Ridge Parkway. 5) Some local folks fishing off Charleston Harbor. 6) Morris Island. 7&8) There was a Civil War reenactment going on down the road and when The Gentleman told the “soldiers” he’s in artillery, they let him fire the old school Howitzer.  BOOM!

Here from Military Monday?  You can follow me on Facebook or via my feed!

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Temporary Home

6 Jun By

With our move officially in full-swing, I thought I’d provide the status update that all of our belongings have moved and we’re in temporary housing. I was delighted when we checked in to the temporary hotel because the men in front of us in the lobby were asking for the room number of a coworker.

“Look, he didn’t show up for work so we just want to make sure there’s not a body in the room or something,” they explained.

Delighted. Yes. That’s what I am.

Each time I’ve moved to a new home, I’ve always had a moment of sadness while looking at the empty rooms I’m leaving behind. Our movers packed the remainder of our belongings for shipping to Hawaii earlier this week and while we’re so excited to be moving to our new homeland, it is sad to look at those rooms and know they’ll no longer be ours. The Gentleman’s been here for ten years, and me for just a short time, but this will always be our first home together and, of course, our wedding venue.

Photo by Amaris Hames

I’m excited today to announce an upcoming project to keep this blog chugging along while we fly west. Over the next few weeks, on Thursdays, I’m happy to be hosting guest bloggers who will be writing about home. I asked each of these ladies to start with the prompt “Home is where…” and go with it wherever they liked. What they’ve written is truly beautiful and I’m so excited to share it, so check back tomorrow for my first guest.

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